Building Trust (in five easy steps)

One of the cornerstones of my position this year is building and maintaining solid relationships with the people I coach. This means that a lot of the learning I’ve done over the past six months has been how to do this. For this post, I thought I’d put together a short list of actionable items we can incorporate into our days that encourage positive relationships.

One of the best books I’ve read this year is The Code of Trust by Robin Dreeke, who puts forth the idea that trust is the most essential part of a relationship. As an FBI lifer who recruited and trained spies, Dreeke came up with five rules to gain trust and be a leader.

• Suspend your ego. I’m not going to lie, this one is hard for me. Dreeke has a line that he uses throughout the book that I’ve found helpful: it’s all about them. People want to talk about themselves, the things they’re good at and the struggles they have.
  • To turn this into something tangible that can be practiced, start taking note of how people react when you make the conversation entirely about them. When someone walks away from a conversation feeling good, they’ll come back for more, which continues to build the relationship.

• Be non-judgemental. We judge. It’s in our nature not just as teachers but as people. However, trust will never be formed if someone feels like you’re judging them. They won’t approach you to share ideas or to get help with problems.
  • Something to try: Replace your “why questions” with “whats” and “hows”. Why is inherently judgemental and can make feel like they’re being interrogated. Compare, “why were you late?” with, “what happened that caused you to be late?” The second question takes the emphasis off the person and puts it on the situation. This leads to a better, more honest conversation.

• Validate others. Praise is essential and people will trust those who see the good in them.
  • This one is easy to practice: praise the people around you (bonus points if you find a person you don’t really know on staff and dig deep to find reasons to praise).  Be conscious though, that the purpose of praise is to identify positive behaviors and get people to continue them. So false praise will get people to continue negative behaviors.

• Honor reason. I like this one for its simplicity. Dreeke says, “Stick to the facts and be honest…Trust inspired by mere emotionalism lasts only as long as the next emotion.” Relationships built around exaggeration, debate, manipulation, or coercion cannot, by their nature, last. Once the trust is breached the relationship suffers.
  • To practice this one, be honest and open with people. If you exaggerate often (I do it practically ALL the time), try to keep that in check because exaggeration isn’t ever truthful and will eventually cause people to question what you say.

• Be generous. As Dreeke puts it, “selfishness repels, generosity attracts.” This doesn’t have to be strictly material: be generous with your time, your effort, your patience, your praise. Generosity with one person can sometimes endear you to an entire group.
  • I think this is one that teachers are great at with their students. Think of a teacher saying yes when their students ask to continue with the read-aloud or ask for help with a math problem. Teaching is a generous profession, so how can you extend that to colleagues? Maybe covering a supervision for the stressed out teacher across the hall, or stacking the dishes for the teacher on staff-room clean up.

Here’s my challenge to you: pick one and go deep with it over the next few weeks. Comment on what did or didn’t work. Do you feel like you do one of these very well? If so, tell us what you do. I bet you’ll get some praise.  Is one of these something you struggle with? Tell us about it (vulnerability is a key to building rapport…).

If you’re interested, here are the books I based all this on: The Code of Trust by Robin Dreeke and Ask Powerful Questions by Will Wise. I highly recommend both of these books!

Effective Leadership: Go forth and Foster Good Relationships

“Leadership is not about wielding authority, it is about empowering people.” This quote by Becky Brodin, portrays the underlying thoughts of Tuesday nights Leadership Academy discussion.

So how then, do we EMPOWER our teachers and students?  After diving into this topic through Todd Whitaker’s book “What Great Principals Do Differently“, we began the evening with a discussion about how effective principals treat EVERYONE with respect- every day, all the time.  We paused here for a quick bite to eat.  There is something about sharing a meal together that relaxes a group, and pulls them together. Leadership Academy often invites people to come and share with us. Our guest speaker for the evening, Principal Roger Lauck, gave us his take on what is important when in a leadership role. His words of wisdom, after years of experience, came down to things like be yourself, admit mistakes, be a servant present in the school (and along with this a role model for teachers AND students), and respect a teacher’s time and build relationships with those in your building.  Truer words could not have been said.

The evening continued on with valuable discussions in small group form, about what barriers we have seen in schools, ways to build trust and places to begin building trust.  The reflective question “Have you been involved in any of these?” lead to rich discussion about what we have seen work, and NOT work within trusting our leaders. (Like most, I’ve seen both sides of effective and ineffective leadership.) There was a commonality among the four groups in all of our answers.   This was not surprising as we are group made up of present day Admin, leaders in our schools, new and experienced teachers.  The practice of reflective thinking is one that is most beneficial to forward movement in our teaching practices.  It is what leads us to realize mistakes, recognize greatness and make changes for the future!

Next up, a short video by Stephen Covey on “Building Relational Trust in Organizations.” While this video was a bit dated, the points were valid.  He talked about 13 behaviors of high trust people.  Behaviors like transparency, accountability and credibility.  Respect should not be taken for granted… it has to be earned.  Much like a bank account, you must invest and put into it more that what you take out.  This is what great leaders do.  They invest in their school, their people and their community.  Our groups talked about these traits and many more that we felt were important to possess. Have the hard conversation when necessary, listen, take action quickly when needed so situations don’t get out of hand, be responsible for decisions made, but the thing that stuck with me most, was that leaders do NOT always have to solve the problem.  We are a group of problem solvers, quick thinkers.  It’s in our nature to “help”, but it is not always needed.  We must be there to listen and to guide.  We do not always need to solve.  Putting the trust in our team that they will get the solution, with help and understanding is valuable to how we are perceived as leaders.  To know that someone supports you and has your back, is a relationship building move!

I thoroughly enjoy my time with this group.  Even after a busy day of work, the time to discuss and collaborate with like minded people is a growth mindset opportunity for me. There were many “A-Ha” or take away moments, but I think the one that hit home for me, was when Karl addressed us at the end of the evening.  Here, he talked about what we do with this knowledge when we leave this group.  It shouldn’t be just a talk, or a box to check off of the list that was completed.  But rather, something that we make a goal to use in the next month between our time together.  To foster and grow our relationships with others, to lead in our schools and at home (some of us have teenagers), to carry forth the knowledge and put it to good use.  So my challenge to you, Leadership team, is to use what we know about effective relationships, and put it to good use this month.  Build the trust relationship and then maybe, just maybe even share the experience with us.

 

An example of group discussion of how to be a good leader, qualities of an effective leader and three of the 13 trust building characteristics!

Principal Shadow Reflection: St. Catherine Catholic School

Hi everyone,

 

I hope you had a wonderful weekend! Please check out the link below to my VLOG that is about my experience at St. Catherine Catholic School. I hope you enjoy it!

Collin’s GPCSD Principal Shadow Reflection: St. Catherine

Collin

Difficult conversations & Works of Mercy

It’s ironic that the topic of difficult conversations is the first topic I write a post on, as it is the one I have the least experience with and am the most hesitant about. However, being a glass half full kinda girl, I choose to put on my rose coloured glasses and view this an opportunity to learn and perhaps better prepare myself for a future, unavoidable, difficult conversation.

I do believe preparation is the key. Therefore, if, in a leadership position, difficult conversations are inevitable, what concrete actions could I take in order to ensure that the conversation would be as efficient and effective as possible.

Todd’s talk about the ‘relational bank’ really resonated with me and it immediately came to mind. I agree that depositing positives, and building a relationship of trust is essential and will undoubtedly make any difficult conversations much less difficult. So how does a leader build relationships? Develop trust? I wanted concrete examples, where could I find them?

Google, of course.

It turns out when you google, ‘concrete examples on how a leader can develop relationships and trust’ you get 59 100 000 hits, I didn’t need to ask Alicia to know that was a lot! There went my Friday night!

Now, I have been doing extensive research of late, on saints, sainthood, vocation and mercy. Mercy, or rather the works of mercy, repeatedly came to mind as I readied myself to break down the 59 million hits. I began to wonder if perhaps the answer to my inquiry was not found in the millions of google hits, but in the 14 works of mercy. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that the concrete examples of building relationships and developing trust were there in the teachings of the church. After all, was not the underlying root of relationships and trust, charity? Not the definition of charity we see it in today’s society, but Christian charity; unlimited kindness and love; the corporal and spiritual works of mercy are just that, acts of charity.
Therefore, I made a chart. I am unashamedly, obsessed with charts. In this chart I’ve tried to connect many, but not all, of the works of mercy with actions that can be carried out in the school environment. It is not exhaustive, but I hope it does help you think of ways that you too can apply these teachings in your lives and your profession. Hopefully, contributing to building relationships and trust and ensuring any difficult conversations are slightly less difficult.

Transformational Leadership vs. Transactional Leadership – “Love and Trust”

For decades the education system has been based upon achievement and gaining the grades necessary to advance our young people to reach their highest potential outcome.  Sometimes as educators we become caught up in the processes that create achievement, and are more concerned with our mark based achievement for our students.  We tier our students based on their skills and abilities, and can get caught up in spending the majority of our time with our “superstars” in the classroom. When in all actuality, those “superstars” would learn essentially without our help, and the time should be spent with those students that are falling behind and struggling with success in the classroom.

Our performance as educators is often equated to achievement exam results.  We feel pressure to compete and succeed based on those results and are compared with similar grades and classes throughout the province.  In the end, it becomes easy to focus on “winning” in the classroom based upon transactional leadership qualities as the teacher.

Recently, I was able to read “InsideOut Coaching” by Joe Ehrmann, and it has transformed both my teaching and coaching perspectives to what is truly needed by the student and athlete. Each day I have the fortunate opportunity to make a difference in the lives of those I come into contact with.  It is my obligation as a teacher and coach to foster a meaningful relationship that caters to the individual needs of each member of my “team/family”.

Ehrmann compares and contrasts the differences between traditional transactional leadership and transformational leadership.  His argument is that low level leaders base their style around the result, and achievement through winning or losing.  Transactional leaders are concerned with the result without taking into account the relationship that is integral to achieving the result.  Those that are intelligent and already get it, are held in high regard, while those that struggle are left on the fringe to figure it out.  Often times transactional leaders consider those that struggle as soft or a lost cause.  As a result, our young people are devoid of trust, empathy, compassion, understanding and validation from those that they are looking for guidance, confidence, and love from people they trust.  The groups success is what is most necessary rather then focusing on individual needs.  What starts to occur, is that our young people place themselves in a situation where they feel that “winning” will never take place and have a sense of betrayal.  Ultimately, leaving or no longer trying is the outcome because of the sense of defeat.

In contrast, the transformational leaders goal is to inspire and motivate the learner to achieve what is best for the individual so that eventually group success will occur.  Transformational leadership is based on teaching the young person about character, humility, trust, passion, teamwork, unity and pride.  Winning is not the ultimate goal, but it is the journey of getting to the end result.  Achievement is not measured in time related goals, this is applicable with the new high school re-design initiatives, as students can accomplish graduation earlier or later than in the traditional Carnegie model of education.  The focus is on developing a well rounded human being in our education system, one that can adapt to an ever changing environment through time.  The transformational leader builds learning through enjoyment of the process, trying to focus on getting the learner to be motivated intrinsically.  Successes and defeats are lessons in a transformational model rather then grades and achievements.  If someone succeeds it is not constant and forever, neither is defeat.  Teaching the learner how to be humble through the process of each is ultimately the true lesson.

The remarkable consistency with leadership style and learning is that when trust and love are garnered in any relationship people are more willing to take chances and risk.  With risk and the comfort of knowing that failure is truly an option, true learning will take place.  We never look at the family unit as just the family unit, we also take into consideration the needs, skills and short comings that each individual member of the family brings into the unit.  In a family, we are expected to love and trust one another….comforting and accepting when failures occur in an attempt to make our family members the best possible version of their self.  This should also be the same context that we as educators and the education system treat those that we have the responsibility to make the best possible versions of themselves.  A classroom or team, when you really step back and look at it, should be a family that we are held in a role of responsibility to mentor, guide, lead, coach and educate with love and trust.

Trust & Respect

During our first leadership meeting I had to do a lot of reflecting as we talked about different issues that we have dealt with or are dealing with in our careers. Trust and respect comes up a lot when we talk about building culture in our schools – we are continuously building trust with students, parents and colleagues.  How do we do build up trust and respect?  I have found that it is by being honest, transparent and sticking to my word – whether it’s with a student, parent or colleague.

I find that trust and respect is the big relationship builder in junior high because it isn’t until the relationships are built that the students will more often come and talk through their issues rather than acting out.  I think that this is the same with teachers as well. Once teachers feel that they can trust me, they will come to me with any issues that they have. This is also part of an open and honest door policy, which to me, means keeping teachers and parents updated with what is happening both in the school and in the district. This open and honest communication allows the teachers and parents to feel part of the culture of the school, as well as, know that their input is important.  Based on my experience, when teachers have input they feel like they are building the culture not just being told what to do.  As a result, I have seen issues – good or bad – filter from staff to the students and that is also where culture is being built in the school.

I feel when a school is transparent that it doesn’t allow for false claims or gossip because people know what is exactly happening all of the time.  Transparency allows for straight talk to be more effective and respected, which allows leaders to be in a position to have a straight talk with another person – and it won’t be seen as coming out of left field.  That’s my hope.  When discussing with my colleagues about how straight talks can be awkward, we then thought about how we can bring the talk back to how we personally need to improve as teachers – then it may make the other person more at ease and more reflective about their own practice.  I think straight talks also need to be about listening to the other person and having a relationship with that person so that there is some sort of level of trust and respect with what we both say.

To be successful in building trust, I have found that being patient and putting others needs ahead of my own works best – and it shows that I am there for them and want them to succeed!  When teachers are succeeding in their classroom, it usually means fewer issues throughout the rest of the school.  When teachers are succeeding and confident in themselves then they are more willing to be open to change, whether its technology, project-based learning or even peer observation.

I believe as leaders it is our job to serve and support our colleagues so that the students can learn in the best environment possible.

Lesley

Effective Leaders are Master Relationship Builders

Recently, I had the opportunity to take part in a wonderful conversation about leadership and the attributes that all great leaders must possess.  We dove into an intense conversation about how leaders need to not only build relationships but they are always transparent and communicate using straight talk.  Here are a few of my thoughts on leadership as a teacher, as a teacher working with principals and then as a leader.

Our recent conversation made me first think about my personal experience as a teacher, leader and future leader.  Despite reading many great books and articles on leadership, the most important factor that has helped shape my experience as a leader was a great quote that my mentor teacher told me on the first day of my earliest practicum.  He explained “the most important thing to do as a teacher is to build relationships first.  Once you build strong relationships with your students you can get them to do anything – good or bad.”  Now, despite my initial shock about the “bad” part of this comment, I quickly realized that as teachers we would always try to put the students first – he and I would always strive towards the good.

Since that conversation, I have always strived to build relationships with my students first.  Although that may sound easy or even redundant to say, I can with all honesty say that most teachers don`t experience the benefits of great relationships as much as others.  And I get why!  Most teachers are constantly bombarded with the pressures of their packed curriculum, final assessments, large classroom sizes, teacher assessments, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork, marking, and the list goes on. But the benefits of commanding a classroom of students that truly feel that they have an important relationship with you and therefore will get to work or get back to work at the slightest asking is in fact glorious – it certainly makes the previous list easier.  This feeling of mutual respect allows for more engagement – and dare I say more instant engagement – which allows the teacher to deal with classroom management less.  Moreover, this allows for the teacher and students to actually dig deeper into whatever is on their plate for that day.

Ok, Ok, I just read that all back to myself and it still sounds like fluff!  This is how I do it; I first seek out opportunities to initiate relationships.  For example, I teach physical education and make sure it`s fun to almost all every day, I coach many sports teams which builds great lasting relationships, I run a fun and important social justice program, I play with the students in the gym at lunch, I am up to date with technology and can often still out knowledge my students in this area, I have incorporated science Friday in my classroom, I try to always have a great hook to start my lessons to create interest, but above all, I seek out as many conversations as I possibly can!  Yes, conversations but not just hey how was your weekend type conversations.  Real conversations with always a hint of humor – I learnt that from a great colleague of mine – and an outwardly obviously focus/interest on what they have to say back.  Here’s my real effective point, I don’t just do this here and there, it`s my intent to do this almost every time I see them – my students would agree with you probably with a smirk. I will always engage with them when I see them in the hallway…..always.  Now, I won`t be able to get them all but I will sure try to get to at least one student every time – even when I’m focused on another daily teaching task!  This is a crucial point that I see most teachers overlook because of our limited time and the aforementioned list.  However, this is also the thing that creates greater engagement in my class and allows me to have more meaningful time while I am teaching.

Once a teacher gets to this level of comfort they can have those real or serious conversations that involved personal issues, family issues, academics and day to day behavior problems – with a greater care and understanding that is actually absorbed on a deeper level.  I will look to have these serious 1-on-1 conversations many times a week and are often asked to have these conversations from colleagues because of the established relationship with that student.  It is after these occasions that I realize that I became a teacher not teach the curriculum but to first be a mentor that will help shape these students into great adults.

Granted, I can do this because I have taught for several years.  I have a very solid knowledge of my curriculum and can actually place it second – it`s still very important but I know I will accomplish all of what I need.  I place building our relationship first and have realized that in most cases the schooling will take care of itself!  A scary thought for all of us teachers I know!  However, I didn`t just get to this point overnight and need to stress that these relationships need to be built long before – and constantly and I mean constantly reinforced – before you can see these successes.  But you teachers out there have already started building; we just need to keep striving to constantly get better at relationship building.  On a side note, some naysayers might say that I don`t have the same kind of students as them.  I’ve thought about that extensively and know that this really does works for all – it has at all four schools that I had the privilege to teach at with different demographics.  And I do agree that the world is not black and white, however, kids are just kids no matter where they grow up.  They want a trustable leader to look up to.  I have that and always want that!  Moreover, I can also remember the first month and a half at my current school, where there was a warmup period.  Students didn’t know about this new teacher and most weren’t used to having a male teacher to boot.  This does take time.

Now as a teacher I have also had the privilege to have worked with some passionate leaders – teachers, principals, bosses and coaches.  And have come to realize that the individuals that I have respected the most were those ones that I had a strong relationship with. They cared, they showed interest, and they constantly worked to build relationships with as many as they could.  Sound familiar.  I have also come to realize that I have been fully engaged for the leaders I respected and less engaged for others – just like my students!  A stronger relationship with my principal fostered a deeper sense of importance to our cause – whatever it was that day, week, month or year.  With a highly respected leader it was as if I was empowered to help our cause.  In addition, this stronger relationship also allowed our conversations to be more open and “real” allowing for straight talk. I trusted and I was not disappointed in the end!  This was important for me.

Teacher, colleague, principal, boss, coach, friend, family or parent, we will all find are selves in a leadership role at some point.  In the future, look to foster relationships first and then deal with the rest.  Hopefully, I will be able foster the same feelings that many of my colleagues have fostered in our relationships.  As in teaching, great leaders build relationships and constantly strive to reinforce them by demonstrating concern, creating transparency and using straight talk.  Just as great teachers look for opportunities to initiate relationships, great leaders can help their cause by creating opportunities away from the environment in which they must govern (school).

Now, I’ve made many mistakes as a leader and all good leaders do.  So I will leave you with something that I always preach to my kids, “I hope you F.A.I.L. because that is the first attempt in learning.” And to be a great leader, you must fail here and there.  But as long as you strive towards the good and learn from your mistakes you will be efficient, empowering and respected – and great leaders are just this!

Thanks for your read,

Shawn Allison – Teacher

Live Your Values

The article The 13 Behaviors of a High Trust Leader (Stephen Covey), presented us with the character behaviors that trusted leaders should embody. Trust is the foundation for all successful relationships. As a leader, one of your most important roles is to inspire trust; trust in you, your decisions and your organization (school or district). Leadership is not about your personality; it’s about your behavior—an observable set of skills and abilities. To become a trusted leader, you must demonstrate both competence and character. We, as educators, are leaders in our everyday life and this does not end when we walk out the doors of the school.

As we worked through the articles in our last session, the following TEDx Talk, by Drew Dudley came to mind. Drew encourages leaders to define what they stand for – their fundamental values – and to create opportunities to live these values in their daily lives.

In the video, Drew talks about having someone follow you for two weeks, seeing everything you do and every interaction you have with others. As leaders in education, this is a bit of what we experience. We meet our colleagues at social events, parents of our students are the grocery stores, and of course, our students at many events in the community. In these situations, we are showing others how we live our values and at the same time, providing them the opportunity to trust us as leaders.

My challenge to you after listening to this talk would is to take some time and follow the exercise Drew outlines.

1) Identify your values
2) Define them (as if you were describing them to your 4 year old!)
3) Develop questions you can ask yourself daily to ensure you are embodying those values.

Leadership, Relationships and Change

Each and every day, leaders in the school system influence change. From changing instruction to changing behaviour, each day brings forth issues or ideas that need to be grown and nourished.  “The single common factor to successful change is that relationships improve. If relationships improve schools get better” (Fullan, 2002). When leaders take the time to “build relationships with diverse people and groups- especially with people who think differently” (Fullan, 2002) they open the ability to lead for change. Organizations, businesses, and schools that have “collaborative cultures, which by definition have close relationships, are indeed powerful” (Fullan, 2004).

When working with others it is absolutely important that all people who have invested in the relationship feel appreciated and welcomed. They must see themselves as an important part of the relationship. Without this feeling, the individual may not become involved, they may not participate in the change and therefore the change may not follow the direction in which it was intended. When a leader is new to a building, he or she must make the effort to know the staff. They must take the time to learn about the emotional make-up of each individual and draw on their strengths in order to change the culture. When leaders do not do this, they may still impact the culture, however it is often negative. Relationship building is absolutely critical for leading for change. Relationships built on trust must be formed in order to implement change. Having a leader that is connected to all of their staff members in some way will help them see the change, incorporate the moral purpose and understand the process that is occurring.

When we have developed these relationships through trust and dignity, people will follow the journey of change regardless of their beliefs. They will understand that as a leader you value their opinion, and that you have their best interests at heart. Creating change is never quick or easy. It is a process that takes time and commitment. I believe that if true trusting relationships are build, change will occur at a steady rate and that positive outcomes will prevail.

The Power of Praise

“Great principals create a positive atmosphere in their schools.  They treat every person with respect.  In particular, they understand the power of praise“.                                                                                                                     -Whitaker

We ended our first session together with an idea that has had me thinking over the past couple of weeks.  The idea that “we can never give enough praise” has been bothering me.  When we say that out loud or read it in a book, we all nod our heads in agreement, because who wouldn’t agree with such a positive, warm, fuzzy statement?   I am not so sure that I do agree or that we fully understand the power of praise.

What is praise?

According to Oxford, praise is “the expression of approval or admiration for someone or something”.

Think about the following statements of praise:

Good job, you got 100% on your test.

I like your hair.

You are so smart!

Keep up the good work!

Yay, you scored a lot of goals in the soccer game.

You sure are a good athlete.

Congratulations on being on the honor roll!

Good listening.

Johnny is a pleasure to have in class.

I enjoyed being in your class today.

Good lesson, it looks like the kids were having fun.

You have a good sense of humour.

You are a good teacher.

Good job!

What happens to the student who works hard, seeks help, takes risks, perseveres, discusses big ideas and can’t get higher than a 70%?  What happens to the student who doesn’t have to do much work at all and is on the honour roll every year?  Who do you think gets the most praise?

The goal scorer vs. the defensive defenseman.  Who gets the most praise?

The student who sits still and listens vs. the student who needs to learn while moving and using her hands.  Who gets the most praise?

What are we praising?  Are the things we are praising under the person’s control?  Can they improve based on our praise?  Do they know specifically what they did or didn’t do to get praised, or what they need to do to improve?

Here are some more of my questions regarding praise:

What if the praise isn’t genuine?

What if the praise isn’t meaningful?

What if the praise is for something that isn’t under our control?

What happens to students who never get praised?

What happens to students who become dependent on praise?

What happens to motivation? Does praise help or hinder in the long run?

“It is essential that students get feedback about their academic progress and classroom conduct, but this does not require the more intensive and evaluative reactions implied by “praise”. Indeed, I see no strict necessity for any praise at all. Students do not actually need praise in order to master the curriculum, to acquire acceptable student role behaviors, or even to develop healthy self-concepts.” –Brophy

I don’t think praise is a bad thing. I think it is important to build a culture of respect. I think the most important thing we can do is create a safe space where people can take risks, make mistakes, and be themselves. If praise can do this, then great! We need to ask ourselves: what is the purpose of praise? Is it to make someone feel good? Is it to control behavior? Is it to effect change?

In his book, Classroom Motivation, Eric M. Anderman gives the following guidelines on using praise (paraphrased):

Use Praise Effectively

• Specify a particular accomplishment
• Make the praise credible
• Praise effort and hard work
• Praise a specific behavior
• Praise to emphasize effort and growth in ability
• Praise to compare a student’s present accomplishments with his or her earlier accomplishments.

Ineffective Uses of Praise

• Providing random or unsystematic praise
• Praise without specific information about student’s accomplishments or performance
• Praise that compares students to one another
• Praise that suggests that student’s achievements were not due to their own efforts
• Praise that focuses attention on the teacher as an authority figure

He concludes: “Praise and privileges and punishments can change behavior (for a while), but they cannot change the person who engages in the behavior – at least not in the way we want. No behavioral manipulation ever helped a child develop a commitment to becoming a caring and responsible person. No reward for doing something we approve of ever gave a child a reason for continuing to act that way when there was no longer any reward to be gained for doing so.

I will leave you with these two quotes to contemplate:

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”  -Oprah Winfrey

“To forget to praise God is to refuse to benefit ourselves; for praise, like prayer, is one great means of promoting the growth of our spiritual lives”              -C.H. Sourgeon