Having difficult conservations is an everyday part of the job of the leader in a school system. Difficult conversations happen with colleagues, staff members, students, parents and all other important stakeholders. The conversations never go away, but the process does become more comfortable.
Giving feedback to others or talking about a difficult topic is never easy. There is always the ‘elephant in the room’ until the conversation happens. The worst thing you can do is let the elephant grow. Over the course of my time in admin and teaching in general, I have learned that difficult conversations are necessary. They are important for growth, for progression of our educational system and for student success. We owe it to the other person to be honest with them so that they can reflect and make changes. I always reflect back to what Karl German said several times (this is paraphrased): when he sees potential in a person he pushes and asks hard questions so that we continue to grow. I use this each day. When I don’t have difficult conservations I don’t give people a chance to grow and show their potential.
So how do we as leaders have difficult conversations:
- Be clear about the issue
- Know your objective
- Adopt a mindset of inquiry
- Manage the emotions
- Be comfortable with silence
- Preserve the relationship
- Be consistent
- Develop your conflict resolution skills
- Watch your reaction
- Pick the best place for the conversation
- Know how to begin
(Martinuzzi, Bruna)
If we look at difficult conversations through a coaching and growth approach we will all do better! Because we all have room to grow regardless of who we are.
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